I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
