I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
