The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
