she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am available for nakedness
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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