u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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