He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
