He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
