What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
