you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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