I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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