It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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