Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
