I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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