Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
