come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The air was thick with penises
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
