If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
