no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
