North Korea, Best Korea!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
