Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
