um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
