return my video game
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
