No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
