The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
