it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
