How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
