Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
