That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
