so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
