Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
