it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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