your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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