Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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