i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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