We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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