I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
