So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Bring me that man meat
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
