Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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