I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
