"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
