How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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