I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
