Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
