I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
