OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
