i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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