Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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