But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
