did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
