I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
