She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
