You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
