I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
