She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
